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Time Out!

“HOW DO I PRACTISE TIME OUT WITH MY KIDS WHEN THEY MISBEHAVE?”

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Okay since many of you requested that I blog about this, I shall and I will.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that I am such an expert in this, and that I am necessarily right. But this is what I have been practising with my girls, and since you want to know how I do it, I am more than happy to share it with youuuu. Parenting skills differ from parent to parent because well, every kid is unique and different too.

Bearing all the aforementioned in mind, I shall now begin.

First things first, TIME OUT is a technique that is used to help manage your kid’s behavior. If your child does something that is unacceptable like throwing tantrums or shouting for instance, then you will use time out to put them somewhere that is away from the rest of the activities that are going on at home for a short period of time.

What I will usually do is to make her sit at one corner until she cools down. If you are using a room for time-out, choose a boring but safe spot. You can use your child’s room, but be sure to make it clear to your child that he/she is not allowed to do or touch anything in the room while the time out is ongoing.

So how to effectively practise time-out with your kid?

Let me see…

1. DO NOT THREATEN

I think it is important to not threaten them with a time out every time they misbehave or are about to misbehave. For example, do not say “If you do not stop fighting, you are going into time out.” In order for a time out to be effective, there should not be any warning or second chance.

2. DO NOT OVERUSE TIME OUTS.

I also do not overuse time outs because by doing so, they will lose their effectiveness. Sometimes, some other kinds of punishments or positive reinforcements may suffice, so you do not have to necessarily resort to time outs all the time.

For instance when my girls fight with each other, I do not use time out. I use another method which I call HUG AND MAKE UP.  This is how it works. Usually their fights will be accompanied by their crying. So the moment they fight, I will ask the person who starts the fight to hug the other person until she stops crying. Once she is done crying, she will have to apologize. Now, usually they will take their own sweet time to cry and cry. But ever since I introduced this method, they will take less than 3 mins to cry and be okay. Hahaha!

3. NOT TOO LONG

Usually the time out will only last for 5 to 10 mins. Especially for younger children, you cannot afford to make the time out too long or your child will forget why he/she is in time out in the first place. The time out will cease to teach your child anything as a result.

4. TALK IT OVER

I will normally talk it over nicely once my child has cooled down. I will ask her why she is in time out, and what she should have done instead in the first place. She needs to be responsible for her actions.

5. USE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTS 

At the end of every time out, I will also ensure that I use the positive reinforcement in the form of a super long hug and a kiss to let that child of mine know how much I love her still and that everyone deserves a second chance.

Now, some people may not agree on using time outs on kids because according to them, children view the isolation as abandonment and loss of love.

DUH? OF COURSE I KNOW THAT.

Precisely why time outs should not take too long. Precisely why you should use positive reinforcements together with time outs.

Everything should be done in moderation, especially punishments. When you overdo it, that’s only because your anger has gotten the best of you, and you only have yourself to blame.

Ultimately, time out is a form of punishment. A punishment can only teach our children what NOT to do. It cannot teach them what to do. To learn what to do, the best way is to teach them through the reward system and positive reinforcements.

At the end of the day, a parent’s got to do what a parent’s got to do.

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And as a parent, no matter what happens…

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GOT THAT? 🙂

Hope this entry helps! Thank you for reading! <3

NADYAS, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 

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