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Only pink, no blue.

So everywhere I go with my girls, people will always ask me the same ol’ question,

“When are you going to try for a baby boy?”

Well, if you can guarantee me that it will be a baby boy the next time I try for a baby, then yes, I will try for one right here, right now, in front of you! 😛

But for now, Tatek and I are really contented with having just three daughters who we can collectively and conveniently call, THE NADYAS.

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Let me tell you something; it is not that easy to bring up daughters, especially since I have a set of twins. Their age gap is really close, so it’s almost like handling triplets. Being so close in age also means that I am less able to enjoy my girls as individuals. So sad. Must start going on individual dates with them already. But I think I am coping pretty well because err…there’s a little girl trapped in my body too.

And now that my girls are bigger, I can see the beauty of having three daughters. I am so thankful for their existence, really! One thing for sure, they play so well together. See, they need each other to play and continue their games and thus, they are always motivated to sort out their disagreements. Nobody likes to play alone. In other words, as the importance of companionship goes up, the importance of sibling rivalry goes down.

MAYBE THAT’S WHY MY GIRLS CAN BE FIGHTING ONE MINUTE, AND HUGGING ONE ANOTHER EVER SO TIGHTLY THE NEXT MINUTE.

They are so used to being together that bringing one or two of them to the nearby supermarket will always seem like a farewell party. The one(s) staying at home will make sure they/she hug(s) the one(s) following me followed by the ever so dramatic farewell statements like:-

“GOODBYE. TAKE CARE, I WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU ARE GONE.”

HAIYAH.

Best thing is, since their age gap is so close, they always play the same games, do the same activities, and watch the same show on TV. This means less work and less headache for me!

SUPER CONVENIENT WHAT.

Bringing up daughters also means entering their domain of fairytales. It means playing dress up almost every single day. It means relating to their emotions. It means tolerating their incessant whining and complains. Truth be told, I am actually very stern with my girls. Not strict. Just stern. Sometimes I get too carried away with my teacher tone, so I end up treating them like students rather than my daughters. HAHA?

Trust me, my girls are not exactly well-behaved ALL THE TIME. They are kids, what do you expect? It’s not like I can program them like robots and make them behave the way I want them to. They do have meltdown seasons too. They do have their bad days too. It’s just that they are generally well-behaved whenever we are out in the public, so lucky us! I think it is mainly because of the basic rules that Tatek and I have already established for them since young. Kids as we know them, are creatures of habit, so it is really important to have rules, and to be consistent with what you expect them to do wherever they are. Yes, you can expect, but the ultimate decision lies in their hands. On our part, we can motivate and encourage them. To motivate my girls to maintain some decorum in public for instance, we will always praise them whenever we can with statements like, “Wow. Thank you for the awesome behavior today! So proud of you!” or “I am really pleased with how you behaved. Please keep it up if you can!” If they misbehave, we will have a discussion with them once we are alone with them in the car or something like that. We will never ever brush off the issue whenever they misbehave. So I guess that’s how they somehow understand that a reasonably good behaviour is not only expected but required wherever they go.

But do not be too hard on them, ya?

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Tatek and I are strong advocates of values. We both think that it is super duper important to teach the girls the right values since young. That being said, it will of course be more effective if we were to practise what we preach to them. It is easier to influence them that way, without that much effort. After all, our kids observe us. We are their first teachers. We are their role models. So yes, I am still trying my best to be a better mum and role model to my girls.

And as parents, we lose our tempers too. We say things we are sorry for later on. We are not always as kind as we would like to be. But what’s more important is how readily we will admit our mistakes to our kids, to say we’re sorry, and to show them that we will never stop trying to make things right. So yes, despite my egoistic nature, I force myself to apologize to my daughters if I know I have made a mistake, you know?

Most importantly, it is better to have open and effective communication with our daughters. The moment they start to fear telling us things will also be the day that they will start to keep things from us. And once they start to keep secrets, the lies will come in too. When that happens, wherever they go and whatever they do will always be a guessing game to us. That’s not fun, isn’t it? Yes, I am speaking from my past experiences, of course. I am not perfect, you see? I misbehaved too.  I have my blowups, wrongdoings, personality flaws, and other failings too. Sorry to disappoint. HEHE.

Kids nowadays have so much more on their minds than kids from 30 or 50 years ago. Kids nowadays are always questioning. Finding ways to let our girls know they can come to us with anything can seem like an impossible mission.

But I choose to believe that it is not.

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Some of the methods I practise with my girls are:

  • Paying attention to what they have to say & respecting their feelings.
  • Respecting their right to their opinion.
  • Allowing issues which are important/difficult to them to be discussed without the fear of uproar, criticism or blame.

 

So far, so good. They used to be so shy each time we talk about their male friends in school. They used to think that it was not okay to talk about the opposite sex. But now, they talk openly about their friends regardless of the sex, which is what we want! We do not want to tell them stuff like,

“DON’T BE CHEEKY AH. DON’T TALK ABOUT BOYS.”

“NO AH, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE BOYFRIEND UNTIL YOU ARE WORKING.”

“IF I FIND OUT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, I WILL NOT LET YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR ONE WEEK.”

Sorry, but too cliche already.

We need to take a chill pill as parents, and just go easy on the number of rules and regulations we issue, whenever we can. We are not police wardens. Our kids are not our prisoners.

RELAAAAAAX.

But if there’s one thing that I am not quite proud of in terms of my parenting skills, then it will be the places I bring them to whenever we eat out. It is quite a challenge actually to bring them to hawker centers, or eateries that are not exactly clean. It is always some place air-conditioned, just to play it safe. It must be child-friendly. Okay okay, I admit that I only have myself to blame. I am such a clean freak that I will make it a point to frantically wipe the table and seats with Dettol wipes before my girls and I can actually touch them.

OOOPS?

First thing first, do not penalize me at all for that wiping with Dettol wipes part. Regardless of where you eat or go, it is always very important to practise hygiene, especially if you have small kids!

TRUE WHAT! 

YOU MEAN YOU CAN EAT AT DIRTY PLACES ONE MEH? EEEEEEEEEEYER.

DONT BE A DIRTY FELLA OK.

So there you have it, the truth about raising three daughters this far, WITH NO SON AT ALL.

SO STOP ASKING ME WHEN I AM GOING TO TRY FOR A BABY BOY.

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posted by admin in Family,Life,M&Ms,Myreen Nadya,Mysha Nadya,Nadyas Say The Darndest Thing,Parenting,Sharleez Nadya,The Nadyas and have Comments Off on Only pink, no blue.

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