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These Days.

I am not too sure about other races, but I am very sure about my cultural etiquette as far as being born a Malay is concerned.

This is going to be a pretty sensitive topic. Definitely not for those with allergies. 😀

READ ON.

I have been brought up in a household that places so much emphasis on making the guests who visit our home feel at home as far as possible. They are not allowed to feel like they are outsiders. This is the reason why my mum gets all panicky whenever we receive last minute guests because she always wants to ensure that the guests are served with proper food, drink, and then dessert. She is not the sort who will just offer the guest a glass of (plain) water, and she is definitely not the kind who will just sit down and do nothing. Sometimes, we do get flustered because she is always in the kitchen when we have guests at home. But that’s really how my mum is. Although I am not as hardcore as my mum when it comes to entertaining our guests, I have picked up some useful lessons from her along the way with regards to being a great host to our guests. Okay correction. I am not as chatty as my mum because I am the kind of person who will only talk a lot and show the friendly side of me once I have started to warm up.

BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT. 

My point is this; I think it is not fair for the nitpicking older generation to keep implying that the younger generation these days have limited knowledge and skills when it comes to Malay tradition and culture. They presume that they have mastered everything there is to know about life. They think that the younger generation are too influenced by social media and modern technology.

WELL, I VISITED A (MALAY) HOUSE THE OTHER DAY FOR SOME WORK RELATED MATTERS AND I WAS NOT EVEN SERVED A GLASS OF WATER DESPITE BEING THERE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS…AND SWEATING BUCKETS.

 

(YA I PURPOSELY MADE THE FONT BIG AND BOLD.)

 

And you know what was the best part?

Come on, start begging me now to tell you.  

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EVIL1

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The host (maybe in her late 50s or early 60s) was watching TV all the way. I felt like I was just an extra pillar there. 

 

(YA BIG AND BOLD FONT AGAIN.)

 

My goodness. I may not know much about these things, but if I were the host, I would feel out of place myself if my guests were not served drinks, at the very least. And if I were the host, I would not have just watched TV and be oblivious of my surroundings. I would have at least offered my guests to watch TV with me. BAH!

But if my mum were the host, she would have already turned the kitchen upside down, cook up a storm, and serve whatever food she could find. 

Don’t reserve your best behaviour for special occasions.

You can’t have two sets of manners, two social codes – one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant.

You must be the same to all people.

 

See, it does not matter how old you are or which era you were brought up in. It’s no longer a case of the old generation versus the younger generation.

ARE YOU WITH ME?

Your family upbringing matters most in this case. Limited knowledge, etiquette and skills, and lack of family support the factors that restrict some of us from knowing that much about our culture and tradition. Sometimes, being highly educated may not necessarily guarantee that you will have etiquette and manners. And oh, even the most beautiful and elegant person will fall fast from that elegance the moment she starts to open her mouth to complain loudly about everything around her. Let’s not even talk about some celebrities, or those who claim to be celebrities – they have really terrible etiquette and manners because well, they expect to be treated in a godly manner everywhere they go. They think they are sanctimonious, holier than thou, or somewhere along the line. But at the end of the day, it is really up to us to decide the kind of person we want ourselves to be.

“It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

– J. K. Rowling

I mean, how often have you had a conversation with your parents and they ended up saying something like, “What do you know? I am older than you. Listen to me.”

Why must they always win the conversation one? Sometimes must lose also, what. 

WRONG MEANS WRONG. RIGHT MEANS RIGHT.

I am slightly rebellious in the sense that I like to voice out if I tend to disagree on something, even if I am talking to my parents. And then my mum especially will get pretty agitated before concluding, “You are so rude!” 

I do not think I am rude.

I am just opinionated…and stubborn.

IS THAT SO WRONG?

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