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Tantrums & Tiaras.

No matter how well-behaved a child can be, there are bound to be times when he/she would throw a tantrum – at home or worse still, in public. Everyone keeps saying how well-behaved my girls are all the time, I admit it is hard sometimes to keep up with people’s expectations for my girls to ALWAYS be well-behaved. They are not angels, okay? I mean, kids will be kids. No matter how good you think you are at disciplining the child, the child has a mind of his/her own at the end of the day.

Today, Sharleez threw a tantrum…IN PUBLIC.

We were all out having dinner together or rather, waiting for our dinner. Blame it on the food that took exceptionally longer than usual to arrive. I could see that Sharleez was getting bored by the second, and then the restlessness turned into boredom. She started to do things that she knew I would never tolerate like pulling the laces of my bag, playing with the drink, putting her hand into the drink, and teasing her sisters. When food finally arrived and it was time to eat her noodles, she purposely let the noodles make an exit out of her mouth as soon as it was in. She then started to cry before coughing non-stop. The coughing part was done on purpose.

That was it, I thought.

So I took her away from her seat, carried her to the corner (she was already wailing hysterically by then) where nobody could hear us (but could still see us because I was too afraid to go too far), and told her to stop crying or I would just leave her there to cry it out. Of course she did not want me to leave her there so of course she did stop crying almost at once. I told her that her behaviour was not unacceptable. I stopped at that and asked her whether she wanted to join the rest for dinner. She nodded.

The moment we reached the table, she started to snivel once again. Mak wanted to comfort her but I told Mak to just leave her alone. At that point of time, I knew that any kind of comfort that she could get from anybody would just spoil my plan.

Well, what do you know? The girl was okay after a few minutes and told me she wanted to have her dinner. Phew. While feeding her, I had a talk with her. I knew I had to because the memories of the episode were still fresh in her mind. I told her how I will not tolerate her throwing tantrums because tantrums are not proper behaviour. All along I was reminding myself to attack the tantrums and not the girl. She needed to know that I was angry because throwing tantrums are bad altogether, and not because she was bad. I kept reminding her that princesses would never throw tantrums because manners are important to them. She kept nodding and looked pretty worried because her princesses and everything pink after all, mean the world to her. I told her to think about her actions earlier on while having her dinner, and that was it. I did not prolong the conversation any longer. The plate of black pepper beef was staring at me. I had my second helping of rice. Oh god, forgive me.

Unexpectedly, Sharleez looked at me and said, “Sorry Mummy.”

Of course her apology was accepted immediately with a great big hug and a kiss from me to her, Barney style… AND an apology from me too.

But what made me exceptionally proud of Sharleez was when she went up to Nurul to apologize for what happened.

THAT was really a grown up thing she did there. 

They say an apology is the superglue of life – it can repair just about anything.

So why is it so hard for some people to just say sorry? Why would they rather risk losing their loved ones?

Oh well.

 

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