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Can you take me high enough?

I admit, my self-esteem was pretty low after I gave birth to my twins. Even though I did not really put on as much weight as compared to my first pregnancy with Sharleez, the weight eventually got to me.

I was no longer as stick thin as before. I started to have curves and extra meat in the “right places” (need I elaborate more?), which was actually a pretty good thing. But I did not see that back then.

I thought I had gained weight, period.

So I was pretty blah in my dressing. I dared not venture out and wear stuff that I liked to wear before I was even married. My wardrobe basically consisted of jeans, long dresses, tunic tops, and maxi dresses. Stuff that was not too tight fitting. Stuff that was convenient to wear. Stuff that did not require much thinking or creativity. I felt comfortable in them. I did not want the attention.

“Let the attention just be on my girls,” I thought.

Did I actually suffer from a low self-esteem back then?

I think so.

Or maybe I just could not be bothered to even try harder. Mother already, so must wear like a mother. Everything was pretty much, monotonous.

“Cannot be what Diah, your life is constantly being seen by others via social media! How can you even have a low self esteem?”

WELL, SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

I CAN EVEN BLEED, YOU KNOW?

But the bigger my girls get, the more time I have for myself, and the more I realize that I have to love myself more.

Feelings of inadequacy had to go, I told myself.

Having a low self-esteem is like having a dark cloud above me that will block my positive view about myself.

See, I do not have to stop myself from being me. I do not have to compare myself to anybody else. I do not have to be tediously unvarying. I do not have to hesitate about expressing myself more.

My life is basically recorded and uploaded in social media almost every single day. Part and parcel of my job. My followers look up to me as their source of inspiration. Well, some of them, at least. Some even monitor my daily movements. Some will read my posts or updates first thing in the morning to inspire them for the rest of the day.

If there is one thing I can do for them, then that is the importance of eliminating low self-esteem in them. And in order to do that, I have to lead by example.

I started to relive my teenage years.

I started wearing clothes that I wore back then.

I started to pay more attention to how I look.

I started to accept and embrace what I have.

…. and I started taking more selfies.

 

KWA KWA KWA.

So what if I am not as scrawny as before? I looked like a walking skeleton back then anyway.

So what if I am not as young as before? I think I look better with age anyway. 

I AM 33 AND I AM PROUD OF IT. (SORT OF.)

You see, I have to keep up with the people around me. I have to constantly tell myself that I need to look good due to the nature of my work as a blogger and a social media person on the whole. Clients need to feel confident about promoting their products or companies via my social media platforms.

But hey, I need to look good in order to feel good about myself every single day. All the positive vibes will follow suit. 

And hence I cut my hair short few days back. (Been keeping it long for the longest time ever.)

FROM THIS.

 

MAKEUP2

TO THIS!

 

makeup3

Sure, I just posted a photo of myself without any form of makeup in Intagram and Facebook today.

MAKEUP1

Many commented that I look good without makeup. Errmm okay.

Some applauded me for being brave enough to expose my naked face. Woah okay.

What was I trying to prove actually?

That I can actually look nice without makeup? Maybe.

That I am confident enough to expose my true self? Maybe also.

But most importantly, I just want you to know that it is not what others say about you that matters most. It is how you feel about yourself first, and how comfortable you are in your own skin. With or without makeup, that’s not the point. That does not prove anything, so enough already with the theory that women do not need makeup to look good, or women with makeup are not as confident. The real message here is to do things that make you feel confident about yourself. The real point is about doing things that make you feel good about yourself. 

So today, right now, let me tell you this, my beautiful followers.

THERE IS NO ONE STANDARD OF ATTRACTIVENESS.

 S/c/r/e/w anyone who says that.

We are all damn attractive in our own way. There is no one person who can be deemed as the pinnacle of attractiveness.

Having low self-esteem is like having a life but not living because you dare not experience new things around you. You dare not take the risks. You dare not commit any mistakes.

Look at yourself right now, and accept your flaws. It may be hard. It may take time. It may seem impossible. But the only enemy you can have is yourself.

Once you can accept your flaws readily and openly, nobody can even come close to bringing you down.

Not a chance, man.

Here’s to self-confidence, people.

Love yourself. 

CLICK LIKE IF YOU DO.

CLICK LIKE TOO IF YOU WANT TO AT LEAST TRY FROM TODAY ONWARDS.

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