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Perfect is boring, Sharleez.

So the other day, I received a message from Sharleez’s teacher.

Read the conversation between Teacher Su and me first!

MIS1

MIS2

MIS3

MIS4

What kind of a mum am I to not sign her Spelling Book right?

SO IRRESPONSIBLE?! TSK TSK TSK.  

If its any consolation, all I wanted to do was to make her show me the book herself. But she did not. Okay fine, when she enters Primary 1 and once school rules start to dominate her life, I will not be able to do this anymore. I mean, if I do not sign her Spelling book on time, she will end up getting reprimanded by the teacher.

But for now, just let me enjoy this, can? Funny how she told me that she made a lot of mistakes for her Spelling the week before when in actuality, she only had ONE MINOR MISTAKE. And it’s funnier that she did not want to show me her Spelling book. LOL.

I can only think of the following reasons for her actions:

  1. She feared that I would get angry.
  2. She did not want to disappoint me.
  3. She could not accept her “failure.”
  4. She genuinely forgot to show me her Spelling book.

 

Now, knowing Sharleez, option number 4 is a big no-no.

At this point, I know most of you must have already chosen Option 1.

YOU ARE SO WRONG! BLUEEK. 

As a mum, I am very strict on discipline, yes. But at the same time, I am always encouraging my girls to keep trying no matter how many mistakes they make or how many tries they need to give before they can finally get it right. The key point is to acknowledge and accept the their mistakes, not brush them aside. Acknowledge and embrace the fact that we cannot accomplish everything in life. As much as I would LOVE to reprimand my girls for making mistakes in their school work for instance, I know I can never bring myself to do that.

No, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I do not get angry at all with them. I am not some kind of an angel. My level of patience is not that high either, especially when it comes to coaching or teaching them at home. In fact, teaching your own kids is much more frustrating than teaching 30 kids in a class. It’s like you cannot help but to lose your temper easily whenever you are teaching them. But with those 30 kids in that big classroom, you know that you cannot lose your temper that much at them. Must be delicate and gentle with them. Later parents complain, you know? 😀

Whenever my girls bring home their school or show me something that they HAVE ALREADY DONE, I am always more than ready to accept their mistakes (if they have any) instead of saying, “Eh why you make a careless mistake?” or “Alamak, why not full marks?”

Seriously now, I would rather help my girls through the emotional process of learning how to fail rather than rescuing them.  If they are frustrated about their failure(s), I should readily accept their frustration and teach them about self-compassion at the same time.

Everyone needs to know how to deal with failure in life. 

The question now is, should I be worried at this point?

MIS5

I mean, my firstborn daughter has signs that she maybe a perfectionist.

What are the signs, anyway?

  1. having exceptionally high expectations for themselves; (Sharleez has this.)
  2. being self-critical, self-conscious and easily embarrassed; (Sharleez has this.)
  3. having strong feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence;
  4. exhibiting persistent anxiety about making mistakes; (Sharleez has this.)
  5. being highly sensitive to criticism;
  6. procrastinating and avoiding stressful situations or difficult tasks;
  7. being emotionally guarded and socially inhibited;
  8. having a tendency to be critical of others;
  9. exhibiting difficulty making decisions and prioritizing tasks; (Sharleez has this sometimes.)
  10. experiencing headaches or other physical ailments when they perform below the expectations of themselves or others. (No, don’t get started on this, Sharleez!)

 

I SHOULD BE WORRIED RIGHT?

PERFECTIONISM DOES NOT EXIST IN THE REAL WORLD, MAN!

Or so I thought.

Okay, she is not exactly showing all signs of a perfectionist as of now. Wait a minute, if perfectionism does not exist, why then are there signs of a perfectionist? Just who is this perfectionist? Can someone introduce me to him/her?

Anyway.

If there is one thing I have noticed in Sharleez, then it is her aim for precision in everything she does. When she is unsure of something, she will always come to me for reassurance.

“Mummy, is this correct?”

“Mummy, I think this is the answer. What do you think?”

“Okay, do you think I should write this?”

“Do you think I should decorate it in this manner?”

And when Sharleez is so sure of something, she hates it to the core when I tell her what to do. 

“No, I want to do it like this instead.”

“Mummy, I knoooooow. You don’t have to tell me.”

So what should I do with Sharleez? Nah, I am not going to preach, nag or lecture her, because actions speak better than words.

But so do storybooks. Storybooks are like the solution to almost everything! And nagging is so yesterday.

For that, I am so going to grab these books for our bedtime story time. Subtlety at its finest. 😀

per3

per1

To end it off,

“There is no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.”

Now, where do we begin, Sharleez? :S

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posted by admin in Family,Life,Nadyas Say The Darndest Thing,Parenting,Sharleez Nadya and have Comments Off on Perfect is boring, Sharleez.

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