Etrangle.net

Live Well. Laugh Often. Love Much.

Oh, behave!

“Diah, your daughters are so well-behaved. How do you train them?”

I get this, almost all the time, by young moms who must have already figured it all out for themselves by now because it took me so long to get around to an answer or a blog post. LOL.

SORRY SORRY STRAWBERRY LAR!

First of all, let me ask you this.

What makes you think my kids behave?

 BEHAVE1

Okay okay, sorry girls! I was just kidding. LOL.

 Most of the time, my girls are wonderful. So incredibly wonderful! 

Got to give them credit when it is due. HEHE.

This explains why I can singlehandedly manage all three of them each time I go out with them. To have the husband around will be a bonus. Otherwise, I am really fine. I cannot imagine going out with my girls AND THE HELPER.

But if you see us around 8 p.m. (close to our bedtime), you are probably not going to have quite as good an impression of us (because that’s when we are already all so cranky and tired).

Repeat after me.

We are human, and we are not perfect.

But at least my girls do not go screaming at the top of their lungs if they do not get something they want.

In any case, training definitely starts at home, since young.

It is true. There is only one way to get your kids to behave in public, and that is to discipline them consistently at home.

I am sorry but I do not excuse bad behaviour just because they are too young to understand, for instance.

“Let them be kids and express themselves.”

Define express please.

Sure, I let my girls express themselves too. I let them do whatever they want when we are out, as long as they know their limits and their ground rules. See, you can always express yourself minus the horrendous behaviour. You can express yourself without turning the world upside down.

BEE-6

I have made my expectations clear from the time my girls were toddlers even.

Wait ah, let me include a picture of them when they were toddlers. A bit blurry, but do not complain. Blame it on Tatek’s phone. Or his photography skills. OR WORSE STILL, BOTH!

BEE-1

THEY WERE SO CUTE, CHUBBY AND EDIBLE !!!!!

No matter how cute they were back then, I did not baby-talk. I talked to them like how I would talk to anyone else. So I guess by now, my girls are already able to internalize those expectations and expect the same thing from themselves as well.

BEE-3

That said, I got to agree that my daughters are relatively well behaved. Okay lah, they are not bad. They put away their toys when they are asked to. They go to bed every night without a fuss. They are even asked to settle their own disputes with each other most of the time. I do not like to solve their problems for them.

Like when Myreen came complaining to me the other day just because Sharleez and Mysha did not want to play with her, I just said, “Figure out how then to make them play with you Myreen.”

Five minutes later, they were laughing and playing together.

BEE-4

THEY NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS. I AM NOT THEIR DEFAULT PROBLEM SOLVER, LEY.

They understand how things work with me.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I often explain to them why they are expected to do this and that, instead of just demanding that they do this and that.

For example, they need to sleep as early as 8 pm each night because their body needs a lot of sleep and rest in order to stay strong and healthy.

I DO NOT JUST TELL THEM TO “SLEEP EARLY BECAUSE I ASK YOU TO!”

They need to eat proper meals instead of snacks in school, because their brains can only function well if they have their proper meals. That’s how they can really concentrate well in class without feeling lethargic or sleepy, and ultimately perform well in school too.

I DO NOT JUST TELL THEM TO “STOP EATING JUNK FOOD!”

They need to put away their toys after they are done playing so that they will know where to find them the next time they want to play.

I DO NOT JUST TELL THEM TO “STOP MAKING A MESS!”

Everything comes with a valid explanation.

That said, my girls do have their moments too.

I mean, they are after all kids! (Convenient reason, this is.)

Believe me, I have also seen kids getting out of control and throwing tantrums everywhere and any where while their parents helplessly watch by.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY MAIN TOPIC.

Question. Do you lay down the ground rules to your kids before you go visiting to a friend’s house in particular?

I do not know about you but I do have higher expectations of my girls at someone else’s home than in my own home, especially if I am a visiting friend who does not have kids.

I have seen cases of kids who just make themselves at home the moment they visit someone else’s house. These kids will just go from one room to the other, mess up the room, shout at the top of their lungs, and then throw tantrums when their demands are not met. Some will even jump on the sofa, play hide and seek at the curtains, pull the curtains and swing from the curtains like Tarzan going through the jungle, and oh ya, throw toys all over. There are even parents who allow their small kids to eat anything anywhere, even if it is at the expense of their kids dirtying the host’s (new) white fabric sofa, for instance. 

WAHHHHHHHH PIANNNNGGGGGG EHHHHHH.

No, do not get me wrong.

I am not saying that I do not tolerate kids. I love kids so very much!

I am not saying either that I expect all kids to be well behaved.

Some really cannot help themselves due to behavioral or other learning problems.

Some have attention difficulties.

Some are too active or should I say, hyper-active.

Some suffer from impulse control disorders.

There are many other issues that stop some kids from behaving like normal kids.

AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT.

Some are just, too young.

FINE.

I am talking about normal kids here. Kids who are capable of behaving better. See, parents are generally responsible for their kids’ behaviour outside. Even if you allow them to be themselves (so do I), you need to at least control them a bit. How can you just watch, (some can even smile) and do nothing when you see your kids making a big mess at someone else’s house, for instance?  Worse still, you do not even (offer to) clean the mess up before you leave.

IT IS NOT FUNNY.

It does not mean the host is really okay with that just because the host is smiling away and saying nothing.

THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY SCOLD YOUR KIDS, WHAT?!

The only thing they can (force themselves to) say?

“Never mind its okay. They are just being kids.”

*inserts awkward laughter*

As parents, we need to set certain rules for our kids, and I am talking on behalf of other parents who often wince when they have to witness kids who just cannot behave.

Bear with me, just a little selfie with my girls while I rest my fingers for a while.

BEE-2

Okay where were we?

Children who think that they can do anything they feel like doing, get whatever they want are the ones who will often whine or throw a tantrum when their demands are not met. When they reach this stage, it is often very difficult for the parents to control or tame them already.

At the end of the day, our kids need to know that we are not fooling around when we mean business, regardless of where they are.

be-1


Period.

90 people like this post.
posted by admin in Family,Life,Myreen Nadya,Mysha Nadya,Parenting,The Nadyas and have Comments Off on Oh, behave!

Comments are closed.

Get Adobe Flash player