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Meaning of family.

My husband is really what people think he is, more or less.

MORE more than less, in fact.

No facade at all, ladies and gentlemen.

When I first met him, I found it hard to believe that such a wonderful man like him even existed. 12 years down the road, and he is still that same person I fell in love with.

Md Hidayat Abdul Wahab or Tatek, in a nutshell, is nice, friendly, loving, respectful of his elders, and detests conflicts. He is never the kind to find or create trouble with anyone. He is never the kind to rebut or complain. He is never the kind to confront. He is never the kind to seek attention.

He loves peace. He love the simple things in life.

And most importantly, he loves his family so very much.He will do anything and everything for the sake of our happiness because really, that’s how a family works. I guess he must have been influenced by my parents also in more ways than one from the first time he met them. If I have not told you already, my parents are just awesome. Hahaha I am sorry but I just cannot stop talking about them. They are the kind of parents that anyone would wish for. I am serious, okay. I am not saying this because I know they read my blog all the time or because they are my parents; I am saying this because they truly deserve it.

When you are still living together with your parents after getting married, compromise is key. When I say compromise, I do mean it coming from both sides – us and our parents. Tatek is really fortunate that my parents are never the kind to poke into our marital affairs despite us staying under the same roof with them. I do not know how they do it, but they are just so good at ensuring that we still have that little bit of privacy. Although they are always there to advise, we do not feel like our lives are being dictated by them. Like I said, I DO NOT KNOW HOW THEY DO IT! Maybe that is the reason why Tatek still thinks that my parents should continue staying with us even when we get a new place.

That itself speaks volume, doesn’t it?

You know how busy I am most of the time with my blog, Studiofrost, Studioperfect, and my girls, right? Especially on days when I have too much on my plate, I will hardly have time to stop, pause and breathe. It’s that bad. So I really and truly appreciate it when my parents step it to help. I do not expect them to do so, but they just do. For instance, there are times when Tatek will reach home from work and I am still in the room conducting bedtime stories with my girls or settling them down. You know what my dad will do? He will heat up the food for Tatek’s dinner so that I can still continue attending to the girls until they are asleep. Want another example? Every morning, right after my girls have their shower and need to get ready for school, my mum will automatically lend a helping hand and get the girls ready in a jiffy. If that’s not enough, she will even come up with a hair style for them. Even though she clearly knows that I leave it to the helper to get them ready, she helps out anyway so that girls will look extra presentable for school. Let’s not even mention about the cooking part. Up till today, I still get to enjoy my mum’s cooking! Hehehe. She is always ensuring that there is something for everyone to eat. My siblings especially, are quite fussy eaters, if you must know. But somehow or rather, there is always a dish for everyone, the fussy eaters included. For instance, if my mum knows that Ili is coming back from her flight, she will cook Ili’s favorite dish for that day. If she knows Shafiq is coming back from camp, she will cook his favorite dish for that day. If both Ili and Shafiq are coming back home on the same day, she will cook BOTH of their favorite dishes! Hahahaha. Yeah, that’s my mum. So you see, simple things like these make us feel so very thankful to have them with us.  Truthfully, I think we are more of a burden to them than they THINK they are to us. To begin with, they were never a burden. 🙂

Despite us burdening them sometimes with our ridiculosity, my parents are never the kind to speak ill of us or their children-in-law. They are always full of praises for us like as if though we are the best in the whole wide world! Hahahaha of course we are not the best obviously, but who cares as long as we are to them, right? What matters more is the fact that we are all happy as a family, with or without the problems we face daily. Yes, we do have problems too. We are not that perfect.

I’d like to think that I play a part too in ensuring that there is always peace and order in the family, regardless of whether it is my family or Tatek’s. I am never the kind to ‘cocok‘, spite or instigate especially as far as Tatek’s family members are concerned. I am never the kind to ask him to prioritize my family over his. I am definitely not the sort to keep him distant from his family either. I do not believe in doing so just so that I can have Tatek solely for myself. Take for instance this scenario – even though Tatek grew up not celebrating birthdays or anything else with his parents, I sort of forced him to do so when I first got to know his family. He was a bit reluctant initially because he said his parents were never the sort to like or appreciate these kind of things. But goodness, the expression on his parents’ faces when we celebrated for the first time testified against Tatek almost immediately! Hahaha! They actually smiled ear to ear. So priceless! 🙂 No harm at all trying, after all. I am glad also that Tatek has never forgotten his duties as a son to his parents no matter how tied up he is with us and work. He always makes it a point for us to visit his parents once a week without fail.

He plays it fair so that neither party will feel hurt or neglected, and that’s the way it should be.

Tatek told me something like this the other day which almost made me break down.
“I know how much you and your parents have done for me from day one. If anyone were to ever think otherwise of you or your parents, I will do my best to protect and uphold the family pride, whatever it takes.”

Awwwwwwww.

I am really so proud to have this man as my husband though it pains me so much sometimes to see him being misunderstood by others. He only wants the best for his family.

But hey, like they say,

“Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding enough.”

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