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In-law definition.

I have always been intrigued by in-law relationships.

When I got married, I immediately became a part of another family – Tatek’s family. And along with that comes his family’s own set of expectations. I recognize those expectations from the start, and I still respect & honour them very much up till now. Honouring Tatek’s parents requires me to show patience, gentleness, and kindness – and that requires a lot of inner strength, seriously. Let’s face it, every family is different. Every parent has his/her own way of running the family. So who am I to change the way his family works and all the moment the moment I met him when his family has been functioning in that manner all along? No matter how I might tend to disagree or get hurt sometimes ( I am only human), I make it a strong point to swallow my opinions and tell myself they are not needed, SMILE, and just be a listening ear for them. Well, at least that’s how my mother-in-law likes it. I am always there to listen to her stories and problems. 🙂

I am not saying that I am not myself when I am with the in-laws – it’s just that I am just more careful and sensitive.

In fact, my relationship with my in-laws has been really good from the first day I met them. Alhamdullilah. And I guess I am really lucky because getting along with the in-laws is not so common nowadays, based on my friends’ rants in Twitter and FB. But it is true. Some in-laws are really difficult to get along with. Some are controlling and manipulative. Some just do not share the same interests as you. It all boils down to pure luck, and our sincerity. Some say it takes more than luck? I don’t know.

My mum once shared this with me, “You are not only married to your husband. You are married to his parents as well.”

So when conflicts happen, who’s the one to blame? Is it us, because we are just not patient enough? Or is it our in-laws, because they are not willing to give and take? You know, you cannot just point the finger at anyone unless you are stuck in the situation yourself. Fair enough?

But the thing I really detest the most is when outsiders cannot seem to mind their own business at all. Instead, they choose to aggravate the whole situation by blanking/not finding out the truth first, condemning the accused party, or taking sides. I know I will never, ever do that. How is that even helping to solve the conflict, in the first place?

To quote what I quoted a few days back,

“There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.”

So my beloved readers, the in-law relationship is never an easy one. But it can more or less blossom if both sides are willing to give and take. Well, at least give it a try. If all else fails, you know that you have done your part. A good rapport with the in-laws will definitely go a long way. Take for instance Tatek’s relationship with my parents and my family. And Nurul’s relationship with my parents and my family too. They are both super close to my family, and will go to my parents for anything and everything – it’s no wonder some people talk.

But really, my parents have got to be two of the most sporting and understanding parents AND parents-in-law in the whole wide world. They will do anything for their children, their children-in-law, and their grandchildren.

I want to be like them too when I grow older so that my children-in-law will adore me like craaaaazy!


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