Do you remember how you celebrated Mother’s Day when you were still a little child?

I remember it clearly.

Mother’s Day celebration has always been a simple affair ever since I was small. I would wake up extra early just to clean the entire house for Mak. I would sweep the floor, mop it till I could see my reflection, wash the dishes, fold the clothes, and clean Mak’s room even. Back then, we did not have a helper, so I knew it was my responsibility to do something that would make Mak happy; and I reckoned keeping the house clean would make her the happiest. Yes, my mum is that easy to please because her life is really all about us. On every Mother’s Day, I would be at my best behaviour, and try my very best to not make her raise her voice. No fights with my siblings, no nothing. Mak was queen for a day, and we were angels for a day. Well, almost a day. So hard to not fight with one another over the simplest thing. LOL.

I miss those good old days when everything was less complicated.

I miss being a little kid.

I miss growing up.

I miss having lesser responsibilities.

I miss being so carefree.

I miss spending time with Mak.

Mother’s Day seems to be so complicating these days, man. There’s always the dilemma of deciding whose mother we’re celebrating first, second, and third. In fact, Tatek and I are already cracking our brains on how we are going to celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow. First, there is ME! LOL. Secondly, Mak. Thirdly, my mother-in-law. Sometimes, I really feel like we need an expert just to arrange a schedule for each mom on the exact same day. How many hours are there in a day again, excluding bedtime?

Actually, as ironic as it may sound, Mother’s Day is all for the children. It is not so much for us mummies.

Kids, they are forever eager to show that they love us and that they can take good care of us.

My girls have been saying things like,

“Mummy, I love you so much. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Mummy, you are the best mummy!”

“Mummy, I will always make you happy. I will never make you cry.”

Just look at my bag. It is filled with cards that my girls have been making for me non-stop for the past few days or so. I am not kidding you or exaggerating but they keep filling my bag with cards and letters every now and then, some of which they did in school!

“Nah Mummy. Happy Mother’s Day!”

It is always so easy to fashion a statement out of construction paper and glue and fill it with lots of hearts and glitter for mummy dearest when you are a kid. I mean, what else can you do to show how much you appreciate your mum? You express it best through your drawings and all. You put your heart and soul into those handmade cards.

However, I was so tempted to tell them,

“Okay, enough already. I have no more space to keep your cards!”

But I cannot possibly be saying that right? I must be appreciative, especially when they are always so happy to give me these handmade gifts. LOL.

As kids get older and subsequently turn into adults like us, it will become harder to express how much we love our mummies because our lives are now filled with something else like never-ending duties and obligations. The once in a week phone call or visit will then be our way of saying “I am here now, and I still remember all that you have done for me.”

What am I saying here?

When we grow up, we need to find a new way to express our love to our mums.

And as mothers, we too need to be able to hear or see what our children are subtly telling us. They will not make it that obvious most of the time due to a little something something huge called EGO. It may no longer be a flimsy or super gluey handmade card but a perfect looking store-bought card instead. So what? They may not say they love us so very much anymore in the card but they will say they appreciate whatever we have done for them instead. So what again?

Knowing that your kids spent those few minutes to buy the card before writing a little something for you is enough to tell you that you still matter in their lives. Or is it not?

Being a mother is a very challenging job, as we all know! What’s new, right? It does not come with any kind of training book. Okay fine, they do sell those guide books which I love to read, but honestly, those books are just for my pure entertainment. I do not read them to learn how to be a better or perfect mum. There is no correct way to be a perfect mum, and we all learn how to parent on the go. Most of the time, we take that leap of faith and we experiment while we are at it. Should we fail, we have no time to give up or cry for days/weeks/months. We have no choice but to pick ourselves up again almost immediately, and just keep trying to to do the best that we can for our children.

Know that while we think that we may not be the best mummy yet for our children, we are always the best in their eyes.

Sure, we do not need a specific day to celebrate our role in society. But doesn’t it feel super good to know that there is a day to celebrate our existence as mummies? After all, it is just a day of recognition and appreciation.

If every day is Mother’s Day, when then can we feel extra special?

When can we really take a break from everything just to spend that time with our children?

It hurts when I get super busy at times to even talk to my girls. 

It hurts when my girl has to grab my face between her hands just so that she can have my full attention.

It hurts when my girl has to try hard to look at me directly into my eyes just to tell me this.

“Mummy, I love you.”

Happy Mother’s Day. <3

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Encouraging our children to read is probably the best education we can give them as a parent.

But it can sometimes be an uphill struggle too, so do not worry too much if you are finding it hard to get your kids to enjoy reading, or if your kids are not able to read books on their own as yet.

Here’s the thing, when you enjoy something, there can never be the force factor. Younger children like nothing better than to snuggle up with their parents to share reading time! So just keep reading to them, and without you realizing it, you will find your children reading to you instead in no time!

My girls love reading so much that they can read anything and everything. Their most favourite moment will be when I show them new books for them to read. They always look forward to that part.

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It’s the March holidays, kiddos and parents!

NO, NO EXCUSE TO BE LAZY. KEEP YOURSELVES BUSY STILL.

I don’t know about you, but I try to keep my girls occupied with activities, plays, or classes whenever the holidays are here. I guess that’s the only way their mind will keep running and thinking, which will result in more active and creative play.

NO?

I AM SORRY BUT I JUST HATE IT WHEN THEY WATCH TV FOR MORE THAN TWO HOURS DAILY.

Believe it or not, it can actually give me a panic attack. Too much TV is no good for you, kiddos.

Will blog more about that soon.

So anyway, one of the plays we are truly looking forward to attending as a family will be..

GOLDILOCKS & THE THREE BEARS!

Presented by SRT’s The Little Company
8 Mar – 21 Apr 2013

DBS Arts Centre – Home of SRT 

Who does not love fairy tales, no matter how young or old we really are? Goldilocks & the Three Bears has got to be one of the most loved fairy tales around. Ask any kid… or adult if you don’t believe me.

This March 2013, SRT’s The Little Company brings the well-loved fairy tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears to the stage.

Goldilocks, on a trip into the forest, ventures into a seemingly uninhabited house. In the process of making herself feel at home, she turns the place into a gigantic mess! Little does she know that the house belongs to a family of three bears, who will not be too pleased to witness her handiwork.

Following the sold-out run of The Three Little Pigs in 2012, the second installment of SRT’s The Little Company Trio-series, Goldilocks and the Three Bears reminds children not to fiddle with the belongings of others, lest there be consequences to bear.

With music and lyrics by the famed award-winning West-End musical theatre song writing duo George Stiles and Anthony Drewe, join the cast as they bring your child on an exciting journey through this children’s classic!

The Nadyas, Tatek and I will be attending the 2 pm show this coming Saturday, 23 March 2013. Hope to see you there!

Want to book the tickets?

EASY PEASY. CLICK HERE TO PROCEED.

Photos courtesy of SRT’s The Little Company

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So everywhere I go with my girls, people will always ask me the same ol’ question,

“When are you going to try for a baby boy?”

Well, if you can guarantee me that it will be a baby boy the next time I try for a baby, then yes, I will try for one right here, right now, in front of you!

But for now, Tatek and I are really contented with having just three daughters who we can collectively and conveniently call, THE NADYAS.

Let me tell you something; it is not that easy to bring up daughters, especially since I have a set of twins. Their age gap is really close, so it’s almost like handling triplets. Being so close in age also means that I am less able to enjoy my girls as individuals. So sad. Must start going on individual dates with them already. But I think I am coping pretty well because err…there’s a little girl trapped in my body too.

And now that my girls are bigger, I can see the beauty of having three daughters. I am so thankful for their existence, really! One thing for sure, they play so well together. See, they need each other to play and continue their games and thus, they are always motivated to sort out their disagreements. Nobody likes to play alone. In other words, as the importance of companionship goes up, the importance of sibling rivalry goes down.

MAYBE THAT’S WHY MY GIRLS CAN BE FIGHTING ONE MINUTE, AND HUGGING ONE ANOTHER EVER SO TIGHTLY THE NEXT MINUTE.

They are so used to being together that bringing one or two of them to the nearby supermarket will always seem like a farewell party. The one(s) staying at home will make sure they/she hug(s) the one(s) following me followed by the ever so dramatic farewell statements like:-

“GOODBYE. TAKE CARE, I WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU ARE GONE.”

HAIYAH.

Best thing is, since their age gap is so close, they always play the same games, do the same activities, and watch the same show on TV. This means less work and less headache for me!

SUPER CONVENIENT WHAT.

Bringing up daughters also means entering their domain of fairytales. It means playing dress up almost every single day. It means relating to their emotions. It means tolerating their incessant whining and complains. Truth be told, I am actually very stern with my girls. Not strict. Just stern. Sometimes I get too carried away with my teacher tone, so I end up treating them like students rather than my daughters. HAHA?

Trust me, my girls are not exactly well-behaved ALL THE TIME. They are kids, what do you expect? It’s not like I can program them like robots and make them behave the way I want them to. They do have meltdown seasons too. They do have their bad days too. It’s just that they are generally well-behaved whenever we are out in the public, so lucky us! I think it is mainly because of the basic rules that Tatek and I have already established for them since young. Kids as we know them, are creatures of habit, so it is really important to have rules, and to be consistent with what you expect them to do wherever they are. Yes, you can expect, but the ultimate decision lies in their hands. On our part, we can motivate and encourage them. To motivate my girls to maintain some decorum in public for instance, we will always praise them whenever we can with statements like, “Wow. Thank you for the awesome behavior today! So proud of you!” or “I am really pleased with how you behaved. Please keep it up if you can!” If they misbehave, we will have a discussion with them once we are alone with them in the car or something like that. We will never ever brush off the issue whenever they misbehave. So I guess that’s how they somehow understand that a reasonably good behaviour is not only expected but required wherever they go.

But do not be too hard on them, ya?

Tatek and I are strong advocates of values. We both think that it is super duper important to teach the girls the right values since young. That being said, it will of course be more effective if we were to practise what we preach to them. It is easier to influence them that way, without that much effort. After all, our kids observe us. We are their first teachers. We are their role models. So yes, I am still trying my best to be a better mum and role model to my girls.

And as parents, we lose our tempers too. We say things we are sorry for later on. We are not always as kind as we would like to be. But what’s more important is how readily we will admit our mistakes to our kids, to say we’re sorry, and to show them that we will never stop trying to make things right. So yes, despite my egoistic nature, I force myself to apologize to my daughters if I know I have made a mistake, you know?

Most importantly, it is better to have open and effective communication with our daughters. The moment they start to fear telling us things will also be the day that they will start to keep things from us. And once they start to keep secrets, the lies will come in too. When that happens, wherever they go and whatever they do will always be a guessing game to us. That’s not fun, isn’t it? Yes, I am speaking from my past experiences, of course. I am not perfect, you see? I misbehaved too.  I have my blowups, wrongdoings, personality flaws, and other failings too. Sorry to disappoint. HEHE.

Kids nowadays have so much more on their minds than kids from 30 or 50 years ago. Kids nowadays are always questioning. Finding ways to let our girls know they can come to us with anything can seem like an impossible mission.

But I choose to believe that it is not.

Some of the methods I practise with my girls are:

• Paying attention to what they have to say & respecting their feelings.
• Respecting their right to their opinion.
• Allowing issues which are important/difficult to them to be discussed without the fear of uproar, criticism or blame.

So far, so good. They used to be so shy each time we talk about their male friends in school. They used to think that it was not okay to talk about the opposite sex. But now, they talk openly about their friends regardless of the sex, which is what we want! We do not want to tell them stuff like,

“DON’T BE CHEEKY AH. DON’T TALK ABOUT BOYS.”

“NO AH, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE BOYFRIEND UNTIL YOU ARE WORKING.”

“IF I FIND OUT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, I WILL NOT LET YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR ONE WEEK.”

Sorry, but too cliche already.

We need to take a chill pill as parents, and just go easy on the number of rules and regulations we issue, whenever we can. We are not police wardens. Our kids are not our prisoners.

RELAAAAAAX.

But if there’s one thing that I am not quite proud of in terms of my parenting skills, then it will be the places I bring them to whenever we eat out. It is quite a challenge actually to bring them to hawker centers, or eateries that are not exactly clean. It is always some place air-conditioned, just to play it safe. It must be child-friendly. Okay okay, I admit that I only have myself to blame. I am such a clean freak that I will make it a point to frantically wipe the table and seats with Dettol wipes before my girls and I can actually touch them.

OOOPS?

First thing first, do not penalize me at all for that wiping with Dettol wipes part. Regardless of where you eat or go, it is always very important to practise hygiene, especially if you have small kids!

TRUE WHAT! 

YOU MEAN YOU CAN EAT AT DIRTY PLACES ONE MEH? EEEEEEEEEEYER.

DONT BE A DIRTY FELLA OK.

So there you have it, the truth about raising three daughters this far, WITH NO SON AT ALL.

SO STOP ASKING ME WHEN I AM GOING TO TRY FOR A BABY BOY.

But you can click LIKE if you love reading my blog.

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“HOW DO I PRACTISE TIME OUT WITH MY KIDS WHEN THEY MISBEHAVE?”

Okay since many of you requested that I blog about this, I shall and I will.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that I am such an expert in this, and that I am necessarily right. But this is what I have been practising with my girls, and since you want to know how I do it, I am more than happy to share it with youuuu. Parenting skills differ from parent to parent because well, every kid is unique and different too.

Bearing all the aforementioned in mind, I shall now begin.

First things first, TIME OUT is a technique that is used to help manage your kid’s behavior. If your child does something that is unacceptable like throwing tantrums or shouting for instance, then you will use time out to put them somewhere that is away from the rest of the activities that are going on at home for a short period of time.

What I will usually do is to make her sit at one corner until she cools down. If you are using a room for time-out, choose a boring but safe spot. You can use your child’s room, but be sure to make it clear to your child that he/she is not allowed to do or touch anything in the room while the time out is ongoing.

So how to effectively practise time-out with your kid?

Let me see…

1. DO NOT THREATEN

I think it is important to not threaten them with a time out every time they misbehave or are about to misbehave. For example, do not say “If you do not stop fighting, you are going into time out.” In order for a time out to be effective, there should not be any warning or second chance.

2. DO NOT OVERUSE TIME OUTS.

I also do not overuse time outs because by doing so, they will lose their effectiveness. Sometimes, some other kinds of punishments or positive reinforcements may suffice, so you do not have to necessarily resort to time outs all the time.

For instance when my girls fight with each other, I do not use time out. I use another method which I call HUG AND MAKE UP.  This is how it works. Usually their fights will be accompanied by their crying. So the moment they fight, I will ask the person who starts the fight to hug the other person until she stops crying. Once she is done crying, she will have to apologize. Now, usually they will take their own sweet time to cry and cry. But ever since I introduced this method, they will take less than 3 mins to cry and be okay. Hahaha!

3. NOT TOO LONG

Usually the time out will only last for 5 to 10 mins. Especially for younger children, you cannot afford to make the time out too long or your child will forget why he/she is in time out in the first place. The time out will cease to teach your child anything as a result.

4. TALK IT OVER

I will normally talk it over nicely once my child has cooled down. I will ask her why she is in time out, and what she should have done instead in the first place. She needs to be responsible for her actions.

5. USE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTS 

At the end of every time out, I will also ensure that I use the positive reinforcement in the form of a super long hug and a kiss to let that child of mine know how much I love her still and that everyone deserves a second chance.

Now, some people may not agree on using time outs on kids because according to them, children view the isolation as abandonment and loss of love.

DUH? OF COURSE I KNOW THAT.

Precisely why time outs should not take too long. Precisely why you should use positive reinforcements together with time outs.

Everything should be done in moderation, especially punishments. When you overdo it, that’s only because your anger has gotten the best of you, and you only have yourself to blame.

Ultimately, time out is a form of punishment. A punishment can only teach our children what NOT to do. It cannot teach them what to do. To learn what to do, the best way is to teach them through the reward system and positive reinforcements.

At the end of the day, a parent’s got to do what a parent’s got to do.

And as a parent, no matter what happens…

GOT THAT?

Hope this entry helps! Thank you for reading! <3

NADYAS, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 

WANT MORE PARENTING TIPS? CLICK LIKE RIGHT BELOW!

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