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It’s about time.

I really love the December holidays because they are just meant to be spent with the family and my girls, in particular. And that’s what I have been doing for the past few days/weeks!

SNA6

AIR1

Yesterday, right after a birthday party, we decided to continue the outing with a visit to the airport. I just love how close a bond the girls have with their cousins, Shan and Shaista. Actually there was nothing much to do at the airport. Such an impromptu outing. Nurul suggested going to the huge Spongebob Squarepants Bouncy Playground at Terminal 3 so that the kids could tumble and bounce. I thought it was a great idea. The moment we reached there, we read that we have to spend a minimum of $20 just for one kid’s entry. So four kids is equivalent to $80 right? To play at that Bouncy Playground? For $80? Really? To make it worse, the queue was super duper long.

WHUTT?

So we scraped the whole idea of paying to tumble and bounce.

And then the big fat lies came in.

Nurul told Shan the playground was only for big kids. Shan replied, “But I am a big boy.” I just had to LOL there and then. There was some truth in what he said actually. I mean, on other days, he is often praised for behaving like a big boy. And all of a sudden he was too small for the big bouncy playground? But luckily he was okay with it and then told us that he wanted to look for other places to have fun.

My girls asked me why they couldn’t play at the bouncy playground. My answer? “Oh you girls are wearing skirts. Later everyone can see your underwear. How can, right?”  Hey, that was the truth. Sort of. My girls nodded and lost interest in that bouncy playground almost immediately.

One days when you kids are bigger, you will understand the white lies us parents have to tell. You think it’s easy for us to lie? We have to crack our brains to lie, you know? And why are we doing all these for? We only have your best interests at heart.

REALLLLLLY.

 

So we went to the playground at the basement instead. Big boys and small boys all can play. Wear skirt also can still play.  Want to know why? It was free. LOL.

In all seriousness, the very fact that the kids had each other’s company made it so fun. And what could be better than to have their parents laughing along with them and spending time with them doing the things they love?

As parents, we all know the tug of feelings that go along with the real issue of spending quality and quantity time our children, don’t we?

When our children are little, the demands on our time, attention, and energy can feel pretty overwhelming. It’s like sometimes you just wish to have some peace and quiet, without the presence of your kids. But imagine what would happen in years to come when they are all grown-up? We might just be struggling to spend time with our teenager kids who prefer to shut us out and lock themselves in their room for hours. And then we would regret not spending more quality time with them when they were younger. We would crave for their hugs and kisses.

We should try to enter their world and give them the full attention they need. But as always, it is easier said than done. We might think that we are giving our kids heaps of attention because hey, we are spending lots of time together with them. But how much of ourselves are giving them for all the times we are with them? Our children are smarter than we think they are; they know when our mind is elsewhere.

I asked Sharleez yesterday as we were washing our hands at the ladies.

“So Sharleez, did you have fun today?”

Her ever so sweet reply gave me a huge deal of satisfaction.

“Yes Mummy. It was sooooo much fun! I enjoyed myself too much today! Thank you!”

We still have a couple of weeks left before she enters Primary 1. At this moment, I just want time to freeze so that I can take it as much memory as I possibly can with her and her sisters. I am so not ready to enter primary school with Sharleez.
AIR5

I mean, do you still remember the last time I blogged about THIS? Her birth story? You mean almost seven years have passed?

 

SHARLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!

 

sna3

sna2
sna1

Gosh.

 

(And I just realized minutes ago that I actually spent close to $100 at the airport yesterday! We could have bounced and tumbled at that bouncy playground!)

DAMN IT. SOMETIMES, I AM JUST TOO SMART. 

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posted by admin in Birth Story,Family,Life,M&Ms,Myreen Nadya,Mysha Nadya,Nadyas Say The Darndest Thing,Parenting,Sharleez Nadya,The Nadyas and have Comments Off on It’s about time.

Aidilfitri 2012: Forgive & Love.

On the third day of Hari Raya, my firstborn went rushed to me and said,

“Mummy, I just checked my wardrobe. We still have one more baju kurung to wear, you know? Can still celebrate Happy Raya. You don’t know arh, Mummy?”

Well, I didn’t know that kind of rule existed, Sharleez.

So yup, my Nadyas actually had the inkling that they should and must wear a brand new outfit for every raya outing. Cannot repeat the same outfit. Wah? So rich ah? Of course I corrected them and told them that it is more than okay to repeat the same outfit for another raya outing on another day. For goodness sake, it is not Fashion Week Month, Nadyas! It is not a crime to wear the same outfit again and again as long as it is still clean. Nadyas need to know that their mummy does not own a textile company. Mummy only owns an online boutique called  STUDIOFROST lor.

OOOPS.

Sorry for sidetracking.

I like how this year’s raya has actually brought us cousins closer than ever. I actually do have awesome cousins both on the maternal and paternal side, and I am just so proud of their achievements so far be it academically, career wise, or family life. Every visit to my cousins’ did inspire me in more ways than one. I am truly proud of myself too for feeling so happy for others’ achievements because let’s face it, it is not that easy sometimes to be truly happy for others. We are only human. You know, I know. But I also truly believe that when we practice blessing others consistently, we will end up getting blessed too. Isn’t it true? When we give what Allah requires of us, we always get something in return.

So here it is; our Hari Raya so far, as captured by my faithful Nikon D60 and iPhone 4S.

The beautiful family. Cannot wait for my niece to be born! Few more months to go! <3

I like this picture below too despite the fact that Mysha and I were not ready for the camera yet.

How is it that my fraternal twins are looking more and MORE alike the bigger they get? This picture especially did freak me out a bit because the similarity is just too uncanny. I had to spend slightly longer to figure out who is who.

But can YOU guess who is who?

On my left is Mysha. Right is Myreen.

Guessed it right? Well that’s because I told you! 😀

Best friends are forever. This Shan Ehan and his Papak (Papa Yat) are inseparable.

So nice of Bertram to actually prepare his raya outfits beforehand, and to be excited to join us for our raya outings. He even went to Woodlands Bazaar Ramadhan on his own just to buy the buttons for his baju melayu. We really appreciate it Bert, if you are reading this! Hope that we will get to celebrate hari raya with you every single year, with God’s will. Don’t break Myreen’s heart, okay? (Myreen adores Bert so much, you see?) Haha!


Sharleez and Shan. Gosh. I hope they will stay this close forever.

Cik Arah with her girls, Natasha and Natalia, and of course Ili and the Nadyas.

Pak Nasir was not in the picture because he was busy taking a video of us, as usual.

This picture below was taken at his house. I had to force him so many times to change to his baju melayu so that I could take a picture of him together with his siblings; Mak and Cik Pau. Obviously I failed.

You know, when I was smaller and Cik Arah was still flying, I always looked forward to her off days because she would always bring Ian and me out to Parkway Parade. Cik Arah and Pak Nasir were also the ones who made my costumes, dressed me up, and choreographed my dance moves for various costume competitions like Singa The Courtesy Lion costume competition and all. And for all those competitions that they made me enter, I actually won! So yeah, there’s just something special about this couple, and how they will always try their very best not only for their daughters, but for the ones they around them.  I guess it is absolutely not a surprise then why their daughters are such high achievers too. They must have learnt a lot from their exemplary parents. 🙂

Here’s a picture of me without eyeliner. I don’t know, I just feel so weird without the eyeliner on.

Mak and my auntie, Cik Pau. They are inseparable, by the way. 🙂

Best Friends Forever by default. Hahahah, Estee and Aton have only each other so no choice but to be BFF right? Hahaha!

Celebrated Sharinna’s belated birthday at Nurul’s house too! And we are just super glad she is so in love with the gift we got her.

Dearest Sabariyah actually prepared steamboat for us when we came over her place. It was really so sweet of her to do that because she was still at work when we gave her a ring.

Besides Sabariyah’s steamboat dinner for us, this year’s highlight has got to be my cousin’s (Kak Tini) Fried Udon!


You have no idea how SEDAP it is, puan puan! So sedap that we begged Kak Tini for the recipe. All of us had more than just one serving, and Mak ate quite a bit too. Mak is such a fussy eater, so to have her eating that and having a second serving must really mean something. Thank you Kak Tini & Abang Fazil for the awesome food!

Love it when there’s great food and even greater company during raya visits. 😀

I have come to the realization that Hari Raya is no longer about looking extra good in that brand new outfit or bag. Hari Raya is more about starting afresh with the ones who matter, and about seeking forgiveness from each other.

It is a bit challenging though to be serious and ask for Daddy’s forgiveness because he is always cracking something up to make us burst out laughing. Heheh.

Like what Mak said to us the other day during the forgiving session (lol!),

“It does not mean that I am always correct just because I am older. Sometimes, I may be wrong too without realizing it.”

Forgiving may be a notoriously difficult thing to do. Forgetting is even tougher.

But we have got to start somewhere somehow, right?

I think I have a lot to learn from Mak because she is the kind who easily forgives and forget, no matter how small or big the matter is, or who started it. She has taught me that forgiving someone does not necessarily mean whatever that person did or said to you is acceptable or okay. It just means we learn to forget no matter how big the scar. Just as long as the same injury does not happen again, then the scar will not do us much harm, won’t it?

OR WILL IT?

I like to think that when I forgive and forget, it does not imply that I have wiped it totally out of my memory but rather, I have wiped it out of my arsenal to use it as a weapon against the very same person who hurt me.

Sometimes, when conflicts arise between me and Mak for example, Mak will always take the first move to talk to me and pretend as if nothing happened. Blame it on my ego, but at least I always SMS her to say I am sorry, or give her a card occasionally.

A bit paisey to say it verbally la! 😀

So maybe that’s why my parents and us siblings are super close. We fight, we argue, we get angry, we get REALLY angry on days, but at the end of the day, we will always come back to each other to work things out. One thing for sure, I know I will never remain angry with my children for more than 10 minutes. I am just super glad too that we do not practise cold treatments because seriously, nothing will ever get solved if you choose to do so.

At the end of the day, the rule of the thumb is,

“If we expect forgiveness, we must forgive.”

How’s your Hari Raya so far? Are there houses that you have yet to visit? We have yet to finish our visiting too, but I think the Nadyas are pretty exhausted (and bored!)already from all the visiting this far.

Overheard this conversation between Mysha and Myreen the other day just as we were about to go out for raya visiting.

Mysha: “I don’t like Happy Raya anymore. So tired you know everytime do the same thing?”

Myreen: “Ya la. Later there’s no more space in the house for green packets because everytime people give us. Then how?”

Mysha (as a matter of factly): “Then you don’t take anymore la.”

Myreen: “You are so busuk, Mysha!”

Mysha: “MUMMMMMMMY…MYREEN CALLS ME BUSUK!”

HAHAHA. NEVER ENDING.

Do not forget to donate me a LIKE at the end of this post because I spent 3 looooooooooong and cold nights preparing for this post, you know? 🙁

I exaggerated a bit there, but LIKE it anyway!

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HOW TO PUSH OUT TWO M&Ms -The birth story

THE LABOUR STORY:

22ND SEPTEMBER 2008:

7.45 am:
I woke up and thanked Allah for the amazingly good night’s sleep. As to when the next good night sleep will happen again, ONLY GOD KNOWS. Felt really miserable too as I was going to leave Sharleez for days. I have never done that before except for that one night where she was hospitalized for jaundice, so you can more or less imagine how I felt. We left house quietly without her noticing as I did not want hear her calling out or worse still, crying out loud for me. Even so, I was already shedding tears silently. 🙁

10 am:
Reported at KKH’s Delivery Suite. We were brought to Room 3 of the delivery suite to have the twins’ heartbeat, my blood pressure and contractions monitored for about half an hour before the Pitocin tablet was inserted into my cervix. Well, the midwife promised me half an hour, but the tablet was only inserted at 11.36 am. Why insert a tablet into my cervix, you ask? It was not because my cervix was sick. It was to ripen my cervix and make it soft, thinned out, or dilated enough for delivery. After it was administered, the midwife connected the fetal monitor to monitor closely the twins’ heartbeat about two hours. Can die, I tell you! I had to lie still on my back so that they could accurately capture the heartbeat of both twins. The midwife did not allow me to lie on my side but I ended up doing just that at one point. I could not take the backpain and the contractions. Even though the contractions were not regular and strong yet, pain is still pain, what! There is no compromising as far as pain is concerned so that was why I ended up lying on my side. Ya okay so I ended up getting reminded again by the midwife to not move and lie on my back. Lol! Luckily she was nice or else I would have refused to do as instructed.

1.40 pm:
Everything looked fine. Since contractions were still so mild and kuniang, I was brought to my ward to rest, relax and basically bore ourselves until the contractions started going really strong and regular. Ward 81 Room 23, this I must jot down. I should have taken the hint when I was given this room. What hint? Later. Labour story also must have a bit of suspense! So yeah, while Tatek had his rest on the sofabed, I took the chance to eat all I could. Ordered lunch, and soon after, tea break, pre dinner and dinner. Lol! My appetite this time round was so much better while waiting for labour to start.

7.30 pm
After breaking of fast, Tatek slept some more while I tried to bear with the contractions. I was seriously bored as I thought there had been no progress as far as my labour was concerned. i did not want to spend 22nd of September at the hospital in a ward! I wanted to desperately give birth. So there I was reciting all the doas/prayers Mak had told me to recite. At about 9.30 pm, contractions were still bearable though I could feel them getting more intense. Give me more, I thought.

10.30 pm
The nurse came in to take me to the delivery suite. It was time for the second tablet of Pitocin to be inserted. By then, my contractions were already strong and I had to be wheeled to the delivery suite. Before the second tablet could be inserted, the twins’ heartbeat, my contractions and blood pressure had to be closely monitored again for half an hour. As usual, what was supposed to be a half an hour procedure turned out to be a two hours procedure. The midwife had to keep connecting and reconnecting the fetal monitor as she could not detect the second twin’s heartbeat. My second twin was already well-hidden by my first twin, so it was really difficult to find her. It was already coming close to 1 am. My contractions were so intense and regular already, at five minutes apart. The midwife did a quick vaginal examination (‘VE’) on me but to my utter disappointment, I was only 2 cm dilated. What nonsense, I was telling myself. I could no longer take the pain. The midwife said she could not insert the second tablet as planned earlier on. I was having regular contractions and labour had seemingly started. So yes, the second tablet was not inserted. The contractions never affected me until minutes later. Without thinking twice, I asked for my good friend, Epidural, to make a comeback! Oh yeah, I could not take it. Only 2 cm dilated and that much pain! And I had been using the breathing in and out technique since noon okay? So since the breathing technique was no longer working, I had to think smart and ask for epidural. So, from the Pitocin room, I was wheeled to the Labour Ward.

23RD SEPTEMBER 2008

1.15 am:
Epidural was inserted. Wah, this time round Tatek was not allowed to be in the room while they administered the epidural. I no longer had to curl up and form the fat letter ‘C’ shape also. Thank god they have finally chucked out that technique. All I had to do was sit and look down like a puppet, and wait while they inserted the epidural. I simply hate the feeling when the epidural was administered. It was like being electrocuted. My whole body actually vibrated when the epidural was inserted.

1.30 am
Epidural was successfully administered. I did not feel numb this time round but at the same time, I could not feel the contractions. Very good! My gynae made his appearance and tried to detect the second twin’s heartbeat too. He could not find it and proceeded to do an ultrasound on the twins. First twin’s head was still down. He could not find the second twin too. After several tries, he finally saw the second twin. Head was still down too. Good! I was going natural! My gynae burst the waterbag for the first twin. Seriously I could not feel anything when the waterbag was burst. It was unlike the first pregnancy where my waterbag burst at home and I felt warm water gushing out of me profusely. Tatek saw the procedure though and chuckled to himself. My gynae then told me that I had to give birth in the operating room instead of the normal labour as he feared that complications might arise at the very last minute. He added that with twins, I’ve got to expect the unexpected, and that the unexpected might mean a c-sect ion. In other words, Tatek could not be beside me during delivery to record the whole procedure. He was taken to the waiting area instead. 🙁 I know how disappointed he must have felt as he really wanted to cut the twins’ umbilical cords after forgetting to do during Sharleez’s birth. Before my gynae left me, he did a quick VE and I was 4.5 cm dilated. He estimated that I would only deliver at about 6 am. Tatek then decided to nap again since he figured we had more waiting to do anyway.

1.40 am:
BUT TATEK was wrong! My gynae thought wrong too. 10 minutes later, I started feeling really heavy and sore near my vaginal area. I thought it was because the epidural was not working and the dosage had to be increased. I tried to bear with the heaviness but soon after I felt a very strong urge to pass motion. I told the midwife and immediately she called for my gynae before doing a VE on me. I was, believe it or not, 7.5 cm dilated already! About ten minutes ago, I was only 3 cm dilated. Simply put, I had dilated from 3 cm to 7.5 cm within ten minutes. CRAZY! It was madness in the room. Nurses started streaming in and out. My blood pressure was taken again. I was made to sign about three documents. Don’t even ask me what I signed. I seriously do not know! I was made to swallow a cup of liquid. Don’t ask me what I swallowed too as I was already in so much pain I was practically screaming like a hyena! And despite all the madness, my dear husband was still fast asleep on the sofa bed. I was crying in pain and shouting at him at the same time to wake up but he did not. I wanted to throw something within my reach at him but I could not find anything. The midwife tried waking him up but he did not wake up too. Finally, the midwife resorted to shoving him hard at the shoulder. “Mister, you dont want to wake up ah? Your wife giving birth already ley!!” she exclaimed. He woke up and was lost for a second when he saw all the tumult in the room. I bet he must have thought that he was dreaming, or worse still, having a nightmare. Lol!

2.10 am:
I was brought to the operating room. On the way there, I kept having the urge to push, so I did. The nurses however were telling me not to push but breathe in and out instead. How can?! It was natural instinct. I had to push so I pushed. How could I stop two babies from coming out? The operating room was scary. It was so big and bright, and I had about 10 medical staff including my gynae waiting for me. My legs were fastened with straps and my gynae was right in front of me, with the ultrasound machine next to him. He immediately asked me to start pushing when I felt the pain. I was already doing that anyway and I kept on pushing. When I was pushing, everyone in the room was screaming and encouraging me. It was like one big drama in the operating room. Had I not been in piercing pain, I would have laughed out loud. But I ended up crying out loud instead, like a crazy woman. Painful, you know?

2.25 am:
About five to six pushes and Twin A was out. Her weight was a hefty 3.1 kg, not bad at all for a twin. My gynae then proceeded to break the waterbag for the second twin. Again, I did not feel a thing. And just when I was about to take a breather, I felt the urge to push again. Hmmm, I thought the second twin would usually come out much later?

2.30 am:
Three more pushes and five minutes later, Twin B was out. Her weight was 2.92 kg.

——————

Alhamdullilah, after 38 weeks of waiting and suffering, everything paid off on the 23rd of September 2008. Coincidentally, 23 was also my room number during my stay at the hospital. So yes, that was the hint. You can never imagine the look on my face when I saw not one, but two beautiful beings coming out of me safely. And the best part of it all is, they are mine to bring home and keep. 🙂

So there you have it.
The labour story of my M&Ms – Mysha Nadya & Myreen Nadya.

m&m

Mysha (pronounced as Mai-Sha) means ‘happy for entire life.’
Myreen (pronounced as Mai-Rin) means ‘bright and beautiful like the sun.’
Insya’allah.

May I also take this opportunity to thank the following people;

My family for all the care and support while I was pregnant.

Mak for your endless prayers and for taking care of my confinement meals during this period.

My lovely husband, Tatek, for his care and patience while I was pregnant and craving for crazy food, and for doing almost everything for me right now during my confinement period. Thank you also for being a great Daddy to my three babies.

Nurul for taking care of Sharleez from day to night, and showering her with endless love while I was at the hospital. She did so well till Sharleez did not even ask for me or her daddy for those two nights we were at the hospital! 🙂

Dr Benjamin Tham for being the best gynae ever. His optimism throughout my whole pregnancy is the reason why I could and dared to give birth naturally.

My friends, readers and fellow bloggers for all their endless prayers and well wishes.

Hana & Heriati for the akar fatimah.

I have made it, and it’s all thanks to the one above, and all of you. 🙂

HIP HIP HOORAY!

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Sharleez Nadya -The Birth Story

2nd January 2006

Time Check: 9.20 a.m

I was still sleeping, while Tatek was in the kitchen having his breakfast. He had just came back from the night shift. I felt a very slight twinge and a gush. The night before, I had experienced mild tightenings but thought they were just the normal Braxton Hicks contractions. Initially, when I felt the gush of warm liquid coming out, I thought it was blood. I thought it was THE SHOW. But funny how the liquid just kept coming out. I just couldn’t control its flow, unlike urine. I didn’t move. I didn’t want to move. I was afraid to move. I was shock-still. I shouted for Tatek but since he was in the kitchen, he couldn’t hear me.

Time Check: About 9.30 a.m

It was only about five minutes later that Tatek came inside the room. He then called me a ‘Buffalo’, no thanks to my position on bed. See, I was lying down sideways and involuntarily exposing my fat butt to him. Yup. Trust me, that was not an appealing sight at all. Imagine a buffalo exposing its rear at you. What Tatek didn’t know was the fact that I was already leaking. I told him meekly that my waterbag had started to leak. He was like, “Bedek la!” (Kidding la!) But when he saw for himself the very wet me and the very wet bed, he lost his nerves. He totally lost his nerves, I tell you. He hurried me to get up from bed and proceed straight to the toilet. I was then told to remain in the toilet till my water stopped leaking. But like a leaking tap, my water did not stop gushing. It was leaking all the more. It was gushing all the more. I felt really wet and uncomfortable. I then decided to take a warm shower while Tatek breathlessly went to spread the news to my parents. My parents turned all panicky then and there, and told me to quickly rush to the hospital. They didn’t allow me to even take a shower! But I was already in the shower by then, and I still had time to condition my hair. ‘_’ I was pretty composed at that point of time. I didn’t feel any pain yet, see? I was confident labour would not take place within the next few hours. But somehow, I was not able to convince my parents and Tatek. To explain my Mak’s jumpiness, her waterbag did not leak at home when she was pregnant with all four of us. It was something totally new to her. I grabbed whatever top I could grab that did not need ironing and thought I could maybe try my luck and put on some makeup. Tatek bawled at me and told me to stop my nonsense. Looking good no matter what is never nonsensical, Tatek! Sadly with no makeup on, straight we headed to KKH. Before I left home, Mak had wanted to feed me with two half-boiled eggs. I refused as I have never been a big fan of half-boiled egg. It looks and tastes like vomit. Yucks. I only brought with me a big bottle of ‘air selusuh’ which I was told, would help me deliver smoothly. In the car, on our way to KKH, I was bored. Besides drinking ‘air selusuh’, I had nothing better to do. No contractions were felt at all. Songs played on the radio were boring. So what did I do? I took out my makeup bag, and put on some powder and gloss. I didn’t want to look like a dead chicken upon my arrival at the hospital. I wanted to look at least presentable. My water was still leaking though. Luckily I had put on 3 maternity pads to somehow stop the water from trickling down my pants. And luckily Tatek covered my seat with a very thick towel on top of a canvas sheet just so that his precious car seat would not be wet with my water. Chet!

Time Check: 10.50 a.m

We reached KKH and headed straight to the delivery suite. I practically soaked the chair I was sitting on during our registration. Kwa kwa kwa. Then, it was off to the labour ward. I asked whether I could wait a few hours more before I was admitted but no, I was not allowed to. According to them, since my waterbag had burst, it was possible for the cord to slip down below the baby. And should that happen, the pressure on the cord could cut off the baby’s blood supply. Okay, fine! Medical terminology yet again! In my mind, I was only thinking of the hospital bills. ‘_’

Time Check: About 11 a.m

I was put on the wheelchair and pushed to the labour ward. I was then given a skimpy white gown with the back side all bare. Tatek had the honour of typing the back of the gown for me. Again, it was not an appealing sight at all. My fat butt was exposed to the air. I had to lie on the bed while Tatek put on my socks for me. I felt like a queen at that point of time. He then started taking pictures of the entire labour ward while I tried to enjoy the comfort of the bed I was going to give birth on. The feeling was just so surreal at that point of time, I could not believe the very fact that I was going to give birth and see my Sharleez soon. I then started becoming impatient and prayed for the contractions to come fast. I prayed that I was already 10 cm dilated though that was really impossible. How could anyone be 10 cm dilated without any contractions at all? Very the bedek, lor! I was put on the cardiotocograph machine (‘ CTG’ ) to monitor my baby’s heart rate and to measure the intensity and regularity of my uterine contractions. Yeah baby, two different belts with sensors were attached around my abdomen! I almost felt like I was waiting to be electrocuted. The doctor on call did a vaginal exam (‘VE’) on me. I had not opened up still. Very frustrating, I tell you! My gynae then instructed for me to be induced. A tablet was inserted inside me to stimulate mild uterine contractions which would hopefully cause my cervix to dilate. I was then told to relax and watch TV. The next VE would be at 6 pm. Yup, I had to wait that long. Thank god it was a public holiday that day, so at least there was something for me to watch on TV. Tatek, who was really tired and sleepy, had his short zizz at the very comfortable couch next to my bed.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Time Check: About 1 p.m

My lunch was served. Despite the lack of appetite, I tried to eat as much as I possibly could before my labour started. By then, I was already feeling very mild contractions. They were still bearable. I could still smile. I could still laugh. My pain score at that point was between 1 to 2 out of 10. Tatek then bought nuggets from MacD for me. I could only eat two. Yes Sharleez, you last had nuggets and the curry sauce before you were born.
Does anyone remember the Chicken McNugget song?
Chicken McNugget and the curry sauce.
Chicken McNugget, chicken curry even more..

Time Check: 4 p.m

The surges were getting stronger. They intensified every five minutes or so, and I was already out of breath by then. I have very low pain tolerance, remember? I started to feel disappointed with myself. I was no longer able to stand the surges. I had to grip Tatek’s hand tight, real tight. Tatek tried his very best to encourage me and he kept telling me I could do it. He kept telling me to hold on. But I simply could not. I felt like my body was being stretched apart.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Time Check: 6 p.m

The second VE was done and guess what, I was only 1.5 cm dilated! You mean, after 6 hours of unbearable pain and I was only 1.5 cm?! My mind was doing mental calculations. It would take me at least 24 hours or more before I was 10 cm dilated. The midwife then told me that she was going to induce me again but this time round, by adding Syntocinon to my drip. Syntocinon is a hormone that will make the contractions stronger, more regular, and definitely more painful. I was already in so much pain by then. What then?
EPIDURALLLLLLLLLLLLL, baby!!

Time Check 6.30 pm

The anaesthetist came in. I was told to curl up to form the letter C so that she could insert the epidural in between my spines. The surges were seriously too much to take. They were too strong till I could not even feel four to five needles of different sizes being inserted at my back. Of course these needles did not remain on my back. They were later removed. The midwife then estimated that I would be 10 cm dilated by 4 am. Great! More waiting to do, higher hospital bills to deal with.

Time Check: 6.45 pm

Not knowing what was in store for me, I felt relieved that I had decided to take the epidural for I thought I could at least breathe and wait for my cervix to be fully dilated without having to bear the pain. But what do you know baby, the epidural did not work on me!!! I was cheated! The surges were intensifying, and I felt every single one of them. I was not at all numb. I was already wincing by then, and told Tatek I couldn’t do it. I wanted to give up. And to make things worse, I kept on vomiting. The first time, I vomited all over the floor as I could not control the urge to throw up. Yes my friend, that is one of the side effects of taking epidural. I was mad at the midwife. I chose to blame her when the epidural had no effect on me. I told her I wanted the dosage of the epidural increased. She told me she would inform the anaesthetist but there she was, still lingering in the room, trying to sort out the tangled tubes. I felt like grabbing the tangled tubes and strangling her with them, I tell you! I raised my voice at her slightly and told her to hurry with the calling of the anaesthetist. She was lucky that despite the excruciating pain I was in, I only raised my voice at her. I could have screeched at her. Or bite her fat arm. Or yes, strangle her with the tubes.

Time Check: About 6.50 pm

The anaesthetist came in to increase the dosage. I then became so numb that I could not feel the lower half of my body. I could not even lift up my legs. How then would I give birth? I wondered and I fell asleep soon after.

Time Check: About 8 p.m

VE was done on me. I was 4 cm dilated.

Time Check: About 9.30 pm

VE was done again. I was 6 cm dilated.

Time Check: 11 pm

VE again. I was 10 cm dilated. (And I thought the midwife said I had to wait till 4 am!) I was ready to push. Or so I thought. The midwife called in my gynae. Meanwhile, we practiced pushing. I kept looking at the tray full of scissors of different sizes in the midst of pushing. I didn’t want to be cut open. I didn’t want to give birth via C-sect. I was so determined to give birth naturally. So I kept on practicing with the pushing.

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Time Check: 11.30 p.m

My gynae was in the labour ward by then. But I couldn’t push still. How to, when I couldn’t feel a thing? The midwife told me to imagine I was about to SHIT. I couldn’t even imagine lah, shithead!!! I was totally numb, how to imagine this and that?! I told her but she asked me to try. So I tried pushing but I was pushing my tummy instead. I couldn’t do it. And to make things worse, my midwife was not supportive at all. She started discouraging me and told every single nurse who came in how really bad I was at pushing. She told me I could not feel the sensation. Sensation here, sensation there. Apparently ‘sensation’ was her favourite word. So let’s call her the sensational midwife from here on. I was really annoyed by then and wanted to kick her. But too bad for me, I was numb. I couldn’t lift up my leg to kick her. So I had to remain calm. And ended up sleepy. I was seriously falling asleep. In the middle of pushing, I closed my eyes and was about to drift to dream world when the sensational midwife told me to feel the sensation yet again. Imagine falling asleep in the middle of labour! The sensational midwife told me to make it fast if I wanted a 2nd January baby. No missy, I wanted a 3rd January baby because my maternity leave started on the 3rd too! Chet!

3rd January 2007

Time Check: 12 a.m

There was still no progress. I was still as numb as numb. I was very agitated by then. I told Tatek to just keep quiet (read: shut up). I told him to stop encouraging me. Suddenly everyone in the room was annoying. I then decided to stop on the epidural. I told the sensational midwife to stop running the epidural on me. I wanted all the pain to come back, fast. I wanted to see my Sharleez so badly. I could no longer stand the nine months of suspense. Enough already.

Time Check: 12.45 am

The pain was back. I could feel the surges. The surges were so bad that I felt a very strong urge to push. I started pushing. My gynae, Dr Judy Wong, was very encouraging and told me I was doing a good job. (But of course!!) She counted from 1 to 10, and told me to push and remain pushing till she reached 10. The sensational midwife, well, she tried to be encouraging as well but she just sounded so fake. I could have kicked her if I wanted to since I could already lift up my leg then. But I did not. Pushing out my baby was more momentous. Tatek, well, he was really quiet. I had told him to keep quiet, remember? So he just held my hand tight to assure me he was there for me, no matter what. Thanks, love!

Time Check: 1.08 a.m

After 4 major pushes, my Sharleez was finally out. After 1 more push, Sharleez’s friend, Missy Placenta was out too. I threw up right after that.

The ordeal was over. When I heard that cry and saw that angelic face of hers, the pain was all gone.
(The classic statement of all mothers right after giving birth!)

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Alhamdullilah.

Yes, I wasted my money on the epidural.

Yes, my white socks had to be thrown as they were all bloody red by then.

Yes the sensational midwife asked me for the final time, “Ahhh, so did you feel the sensation when you pushed her out?”

Yes lah, nyonya!!

And yes, I now have my Sharleez.

sn2

I AM NOW A MUMMY!

sn1

Stop winking at me, Sharleez. Please make mummyhood easy for me!

There you have it, my very long story to aptly describe my very long labour.

Typing this entry is almost equivalent to typing a 5000 words essay. I almost felt like I was back in NIE, working on my final year project.

Now do you know why I kept prolonging this entry?

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