With reference to my previous blog post, I did express my concerns about Sharleez not wanting to go for her ballet class all of a sudden. It caught me by surprise because like I said, it was really a drastic change in behaviour. I knew something was not quite right somewhere because my girl loves dancing so much. Of course I believed her too when she said she does not like to forced to dance because all her dance moves at home have always been free and easy. But me being me was not happy with Sharleez’s answer and so I began playing this game with her called “Ask & Answer”. My main intention was to question her without pressurizing her so yeah, I turned it into a talk show. Hahaha! And since she loves to question me too, this game is something that we like to play all the time.
Me: Hi Sharleez, welcome to my show. I would like to know more about ballet because I intend to join it soon.
Sharleez: Hello, nice to meet you! Ballet is fun! I can dance like a princess, and look like a princess. Just like Barbie. I wear pink and purple you know?
Me: Wow! Is ballet really fun? I am sure you look nice in pink and purple!
Sharleez: Ya, pink and purple they are my favourite colour! What about you?
Me: Me too, and I like yellow too! What about your ballet teachers and friends? Do you like them?
Sharleez: Yes, they are all pretty too, like princesses too.
Me: You are so lucky! Is your ballet teacher nice?
Sharleez: Yes I like her, I want to give her a flower pen for Teachers’ Day.
Me: Aaah, yes of couse! What about your friends? Who’s your best friend?
Sharleez: I don’t know. They always don’t let me play with them. They say I cannot be in their team.
Me: Oh dear? Did you disturb them?
Sharleez: No, I just want to dance together but they don’t want. They push me and they like to call me mad.
Me: Mad? Like the hatter from Alice in Wonderland?
Sharleez: Noooo. I am not mad. Hatter is a man laaa. I like Alice because she is blonde.
Me: Should I colour my hair blonde then?
Sharleez: Noooo. You are Malay. Only Eurasian can have blonde hair!
Me: Caucasians you mean?
Sharleez: Yes thats right.
Me: Okay sorry. So did you tell teacher that your friends called you mad and pushed you?
Sharleez: (hesitates)
Me: I dont like my friends to push or call me mad too.
Sharleez: You feel sad?
Me: Of course I will feel sad.
Me: Do you want me to tell your teacher that you feel sad too?
Sharleez: YES!! I have to find a new best friend in ballet.
It may seem like a trivial matter to some of us– after all, kids are kids and they tend to over react during play time. However, bullying is not a trivial matter. Kids need to learn to treat their friends right early. Bullying can only get worse if nothing is done to stop the situation. There are many types of bullying involved nowadays, and they are:
- Emotional bullying: it is more subtle and usually involves isolating or excluding a child from activities (i.e., shunning the victim during recess time or on school outings) or spreading rumours. This kind of bullying is especially common among girls.
- Racist bullying: preys on children through racial slurs, offensive gestures, or making jokes about a child’s cultural traditions.
- Verbal bullying: it usually involves name-calling, incessant mocking, and laughing at a child’s expense.
- Sexual bullying: it involves unwanted physical contact or sexually abusive or inappropriate comments.
In Sharleez’s case, I think she was being bullied emotionally and verbally as well. So why did the girls bully her? Why do they bully? There are so many possible reasons, but if I were to think logically, bullies target people who are different (difference in age, race or even looks), and they seek to exploit those differences. Their victims are those who are unlikely to retaliate so that they will feel more important, popular, or in control. I had a talk with Sharleez’s ballet teacher and according to her, Sharleez is very quiet in ballet class. Now this is unlike Sharleez because if i were to ask Sharleez’ form teacher in school, I am pretty definite she would say the opposite about Sharleez’s behaviour – in school, Sharleez is known as her teacher’s personal assistant. She always have something to say in class. My instincts tell me Sharleez is pretty uncomfortable in ballet class because of the mixed age groups. They are currently preparing for the ballet recital this upcoming weekend hence the combined ballet class for the past few weeks. The ballet teacher assured me that once the recital is over, the girls will be back to their original class. I am glad that the ballet teacher is really concerned about this matter – she talked to Sharleez over the phone and promised Sharleez that she would talk to the bullies.
Sharleez went for her ballet class yesterday and per normal. When I asked her whether the girls still disturb her, she said no. “Miss Foo scolded them already. They never disturb me anymore!”
So parents, what are the signs that your child is being bullied in school?
- Inventing mysterious illnesses every time to avoid school (Sharleez kept saying she was very tired and sick!)
- missing belongings or money
- sleeping problems
- bedwetting
- irritability
- poor concentration
- unexpected changes in routine
- problems with schoolwork
It is important to always check on your child. Even a slight change in behaviour can mean something is bothering him/her. Being bullied can have undesirable long-term consequences. In addition, bully victims are usually more likely to experience withdrawn behaviour such as anxiety and depression. Be a good listener to your child and do not brush off his/her concerns in school as simply child’s play. Your child is not likely to confide in you immediately about his/her bullying experiences in school so as a parent, you need to be aware of the common signs as I have listed above.
I am glad I found out early. My girl is going to continue with her ballet after all.
My dreams live on. 
And by the way, Sharleez has something to say to the little bullies.
Want to know if you are or have been a bully? Take a simple quiz right HERE!
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When I found out that I was carrying a baby girl (in this case, Sharleez), I thought of all the wonderful and girly things that we could do together as mummy and daughter. I remember imagining her joining ballet classes, going shopping for girly clothes, and baking cookies together at home. That’s like the ideal mummy-daughter relationship to me. So when Sharleez first expressed her interest to join ballet, I wasted no time at all to enrol her in one. Who wouldn’t like a sweet and dainty daughter? And from my observations thus far, ballerinas are such disciplined people. The way they stand up so tall and straight tells so much about the confidence they exude.
But of late, I have noticed the change in my girl. She no longer seems enthusiastic about ballet. I know Sharleez has always been strong minded since she was a baby even and I know how much she hates it when forced to do something that she does not want to do. “They always want me to follow how they dance. I dont like it, Mummy.” she said. I tried explaining to her that when she goes to school or classes, that’s how it is going to be like. She cannot expect to have things her own way even in school. At the same time, I too realized that her ballet class is just an enrichment class, and she is not obligated to go if she does not want to. After all, she is only three and she has every right in the world to still enjoy her toddlerhood years, and not to be bounded too much by rules, restrictions and regulations.
So what am I to do as a parent to a 3 year old? Should I tell her that she must continue with ballet because it’s good for her? Should I tell her a girl is supposed to learn ballet because that’s the ‘right’ thing to do? Or should I listen to her, and respect her decision because she is after all, old enough to think and decide what she likes and dislikes?
DILEMMA.
As it is, her big concert/recital is this Saturday at Victoria Junior College. But the girl is obviously not interested anymore. What’s the point of forcing her to dance with a grumpy face and a slumped body?
Sharleez’s interest now is in Art, and possibly Speech & Drama. I have been doing my research on Art workshops or classes but to date, I am still not happy with my searches. It’s like, there are just so many things that one can do with kids where Art is concerned. Art has no restrictions or rules, which is why I love it. Kids do not express themselves properly through speech sometimes because they know they are somehow being judged and monitored. But with Art, I can guarantee you that they will let loose whatever they have contained all along because there is no right or wrong. And most importantly, nobody is going judge them.
I am still contemplating to conduct Art classes for little kids. I miss teaching Art so much that I am already itching . But yet, there are so many factors to consider like time, space and venue.
Let me ponder this for a while.
Meanwhile, SHARLEEZ, ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?!
Oh well. :’(
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On behalf of Studiofrost/Studioperfect/Studioperfect Weddings, I would like to thank Manja magazine for giving us twice the chance to have our exclusive apparels and makeup featured in your prestigious magazine. It was a blessing in disguise actually. Let me tell you why. The first time we were invited to do the makeup/hair/styling for a fashion spread with Nura J for Manja’s August issue, Manja got the credits all mixed up . Makeup was by me while hair was by Nurul, and styling was by the both of us. What was printed on the magazine was something else – makeup & styling by Nurul Aini. We were not trying to act like big shots and we do fully understand that everyone makes mistakes. But fact of the matter is, both Nurul and I were very upset initially because in our line, a proper credit means a lot to us, especially after all the hard work we have put in. However, I have to take my hats off Ruslina from Manja magazine who actually called me to apologize, and who later invited us for another fashion spread, this time round for a Hari Raya edition with Leeya/Nabillah from Cinta Ixora. So two fashion spreads in a row with Manja magazine. Blessing in disguise? You tell me.
We really a lot of fun throughout both fashion spreads with Manja magazine despite the long hours we had to work. Imagine us working from 10 am till close to 5 pm for one fashion spread? Hehe. I am just glad we had a taste of what it is like to be stylists. Definitely not an easy job. Definitely not glamorous too because both Nurul and I ended up looking like banana fritters right after the photoshoot – so terribly oily.
Leeya was such a darling throughout the entire photoshoot. Never once did I hear her whine or complain. It was really easy to work with her and yes, her face. She is such a beautiful girl, inside out. If only I was allowed to do more on the eyes the other day. Haha! After the photoshoot, she accompanied us to the canteen and even offered to sit with me while I ate my lunch. Leeya, if you are reading this, thank you! I adore you already!
Thank you to all our buyers for your neverending support too. All the Hari Raya Exclusive kaftans are already sold out, and its all thanks to….YOU LADIES! Come, let me give you all one big hug.
Stay very close to Studiofrost because we have more of our exclusive apparels coming up after Hari Raya!
www.studiofrost.net
Meanwhile, get your copy of Manja magazine today!
Here’s to more fashion spreads!
Amin.
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See this picture?
So glamorous, right? Does it look like I was enjoying the moment? Does it look like I had a professional photographer? If only life was that perfect. Did you honestly think that it was a glamorous thing to do? Did you seriously think I was enjoying the moment? Did you think I had a professional photographer to snap the pictures for Studiofrost’s recent new arrivals?
You are absolutely WRONG because you see, I am no diva.
Let me show you now what was behind, next to, and occassionally in front of the camera! Aiyoh, very paisey.
In summary,
- One helper who was the official photographer, and who knows nuts about photography.
- A pair of twins who got bored with all the waiting and lack of attention, and who later got super duper agitated by the extremely hot weather. Made an emergency call home, and had Ili to fetch them. They got home, drank Yakult merrily, and relished each other’s company.
- And lastly, a very panicky so called model who kept perspiring due to the scorching heat from the sun, and who had to rush the entire photoshoot for fear that she would not make it on time to fetch her daughter from school. Well, surprise, surprise – the model did not make it on time and had to rely on her brother and Sofia to fetch the poor girl from school. And just when the model thought she could finish modelling the last two outfits and rejoice, it started to rain HEAVILY. She had to seek refuge in the shelter, with her errrm, photographer.
HOW SUPER GLAMOROUS, right?
The things we go through for every Studiofrost photoshoot.
www.studiofrost.net
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How would you like to own these exquisite chiffon kaftans from Studiofrost Exclusives? How would you to be the only one wearing it for Hari Raya? Oh yes ladies, we only have a piece for every design so exclusitivity is 100% guaranteed! What’s more, these chiffon kaftans have gorgeous Swarovski crystals details, beautiful trimmings & of course, a matching sash! What I really like about the sash is the hardness of it and the assurance it gives me when I put it on – I do not have to worry about my sash moving because it is just that obedient and stays in place.
And pregnant ladies, do not worry about not being able to fit into these kaftans because believe it or not, you can! If Nurul, the heavily pregnant one who is due anytime can fit into them, so can you. Right?
Oh one thing I forgot to mention. If you do not see the ones you like at studiofrost.net , it means that they are already sold out! Only available items will be visible at our website.
Understand? Understood?
Now SHOP.
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